i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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