Non-Jews are for practice
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
