I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
