His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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