Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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