people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
