Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
