There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
