Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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