No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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