Texts From Last Night

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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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  (308): yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time http://tfl.nu/mn2j
  Replies (32) Good night (5259) Bad night (2511)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.

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  (770): I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night. http://tfl.nu/6yac
  Replies (15) Good night (4032) Bad night (871)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

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  (740): Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins. http://tfl.nu/qxz4
  Replies (39) Good night (8542) Bad night (1273)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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  (816): After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/v7rc
  Replies (12) Good night (3414) Bad night (786)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through

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  (512): and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through http://tfl.nu/6tx9
  Replies (14) Good night (5439) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.

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  (618): I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed. http://tfl.nu/50l6
  Replies (11) Good night (6988) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.

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  (805): I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins. http://tfl.nu/apj9
  Replies (4) Good night (3071) Bad night (1636)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.

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  (401): just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point. http://tfl.nu/mbzv
  Replies (10) Good night (2143) Bad night (944)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

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  (763): My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away http://tfl.nu/xlij
  Replies (5) Good night (2098) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.

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  (801): He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/2uzh
  Replies (7) Good night (511) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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  (412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g
  Replies (6) Good night (1147) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.

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  (914): Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse. http://tfl.nu/g2u2
  Replies (8) Good night (665) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success

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  (226): I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success http://tfl.nu/m6v1
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.

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  (606): He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. http://tfl.nu/68ad
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.

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  (404): It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top. http://tfl.nu/vhr3
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (275)

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