Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.