I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10