Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly