so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.