This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My penis needs a shock collar
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
