Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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