Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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