My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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