Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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