I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
