So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
