Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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