Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
