I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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