whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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