She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I understand Curling. That high.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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