Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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