he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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