Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
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I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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