I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
