he shaved USA in his pubs
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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