Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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