He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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