I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
They are going to name an STD after you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
