you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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