So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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