FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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