Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
