he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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