you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
