1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
