Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
