SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
