I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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