we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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