you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
