just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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