It's like God shit irony all over that family
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
