When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
