Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They took my balls.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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