Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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