It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
