There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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