This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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