Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
