I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
