So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
