btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
