That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
