Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i now understand why vodka
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
