Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
