I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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