He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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