Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
porn star boner night. come get it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
