he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
either way he was missing a nipple.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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