i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Randomize
