No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I came so hard my ears popped.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
