the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it because I queefed?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
