is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
