You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
