can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
did you just send me my own nude
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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