I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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