Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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