By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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