I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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