hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
