I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
