he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
