i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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