If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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