I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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